Es
Espresso
FounderBlack, dense, slightly bitter before 10am. Sleeps on the machine he is named after and considers this branding.
Chaos level3/10
Lap availability7/10
Opinion of laptopsWarm rectangles. Approved seating.
The residents
Seven cats. Zero interest in your deadline.
All rescues, all vetted and vaccinated, all salaried in treats. Chaos ratings are audited quarterly by whoever last lost a muffin.
Mw
Molly Weasley
MatriarchGinger, maternal, will groom you without consent. Runs the afternoon shift and every other cat's schedule.
Chaos level2/10
Lap availability9/10
Opinion of laptopsRivals for your attention. Sits on keyboards out of principle.
Ck
Chikoo
Adopt meBrown tabby, eight months old, made entirely of elbows and optimism. Will fetch a bottle cap if you believe in him.
Chaos level9/10
Lap availability4/10
Opinion of laptopsPrey. The cursor especially.
Ba
Baron
ResidentGrey British Shorthair energy in a Bengaluru street cat body. Sits like furniture. Judges like a panel of three.
Chaos level1/10
Lap availability2/10
Opinion of laptopsBeneath comment. As are you, briefly.
Id
Idli
Adopt meWhite, round, steam-soft. Two years old, purrs at conversational volume, believes every lap is a reserved seat.
Chaos level2/10
Lap availability10/10
Opinion of laptopsObstacles between her and your lap. Will negotiate.
Ma
Mausi
ResidentCalico auntie. Knows everything that happens here and disapproves of roughly half of it. Loves the window, hates the pigeons, needs the drama.
Chaos level5/10
Lap availability6/10
Opinion of laptopsFine, if she can see the screen. She has opinions on your email.
Rk
Rocket
MenaceTuxedo. Zero to bookshelf in 1.2 seconds. Every broken cup on the wall of shame is his. He is very proud of the wall.
Chaos level10/10
Lap availability1/10
Opinion of laptopsLaunch pads. Close your tabs.
Seven slow-motion head tilts go here
Talent fees payable in tuna
Adoption
Chikoo and Idli are auditioning humans.
Both are healthy, sterilised and vaccinated. Adoption runs through our shelter partner after two visits and a home chat — start by booking a session and sitting near them. They'll take it from there.